Homeschool
THE BLESSING IN THE YES
When we were first married we decided, almost by default, that I would stay home with my babies. I BEGGED Daniel to see the light one day as I smushed my baby into my chest and teared up thinking about letting anyone else have his best moments. Daniel took a deep and reluctant breath as he agreed half heartedly. But at the same time knowing full well it was the best. I thanked him with scared tears in my eyes. We knew it would be hard. In retrospect we had no idea what it would actually entail but we knew it would be hard.
I want to say this first, THE RISK WAS WORTH THE REWARD.
Okay, just in case I scared you too badly at first I wanted you to know that we would do it over again. But I also want to take a look at how our life together would have looked like if we chose the typical 8-5 schedule for me.
It would have looked like
More income - so much less stress about bills, finance, investing, passion projects, hobbies.
Vacations - being able to afford to travel and enjoy the freedom of the adventure financially
A House - living somewhere we are not crammed together just making it work. Having something that is actually ours and investing in our future there much earlier in their childhood
BUUUUUUUT - here is the other side of that “greener grass”
Early rushed mornings - no slow wake ups, snuggles in the bed, making breakfast together
Saying goodbye - saying “see you later” for 7-8 hour school days where all their learning and friendships are formed behind closed doors with a people I barely know or don’t know at all.
Quick evenings - full of extra curricular activities and homework and prepping for the next busy day. Cooking a convenient dinner with the last of my energy and sending them off for an early bed time so they can do it all over again tomorrow.
Corporate Stress - the weight of a full time position on me. Where I have to answer to my boss before my kids most likely. Keeping the business realm of me kindled while balancing and sharing the energy it takes to be a present mother.
So Momma, Where is the give and where is the take?
There is compromise in both situations. There is sacrifice in both situations. So, do I decide to knowingly take the hard path financially to gain the saturation of life spent with my babies or do I put my eggs in the basket of my financial future with less worry?
My question for you is, what is the end result you want?
When your children grow up and they turn back around to face you, what will they thank you for?
Take these words as if they came from you child who is all grown up.
“Mom, thank you for working 9-5. I saw your hustle. I know your were a busy lady being pulled in so many directions. I missed you, but I know what you had to go through to take care of us. Your dedication built us this house where we all got our own room. We took the most epic vacations. It was worth it to see you hustle and to say goodbye everyday. I cherished our short evenings together and hoped I didn’t get assigned too much homework so I could be with you while you cooked. You are such a hard worker.”
OR
"Mom, thank you for choosing to be with me. I saw that it was hard for you. When you wanted something you always figured out how to scrape your pennies together. You made meals full of love and nutrition, which is dedication. You chose time instead of money to be with me. Our days together were slow and meaningful and you were able to put aside your worries to make my days full of learning and outdoor adventure. You chose me over money. You were okay with stuffing into a small house, because it meant we were together to make that house a home. I never knew how much money we really had but you made me feel like we were rich.”
Both statements would bring tears to my eyes instantly as a Momma who hustled to have her choice. But the second statement has me screaming “IT WAS WORTH IT!!!!” And falling to my knees in thankfulness.
In the eyes of a child they don’t usually see the things that we are sacrificing while we are in the middle of the sacrifice. They see their life day by day. Hour by hour sometimes. They will most likely never know the number in our bank account or care that they had to bunk up with a sibling. They will most likely never know that we had to stretch our ingredients for the last three meals until pay day. They will never know in the moment that we chose a cheap or free adventure, because all that mattered was that we were together. They really don’t care all that much about the car that you are driving because it gets them to their favorite places just fine. Even if there was a smidge of resentment because a friend got this or that it would fade so quickly compared to your present love in action.
Choosing to stay home is a whirlwind of freeing fear and untapped potential for your family. Choosing a home over a house is a dedicated practice. It’s a willingness to shop used, stretch you meals, figure out a side hustle, practice budgeting, paying bills to whomever wants your money the most that month. It’s a sacrifice that you won’t be able to take every opportunity to travel or you may have to take the cheaper way to get there. It’s the pulling down of the notion that we have to have certain things to have “made it” in America. It’s choosing them or the it.
Would I do it again? Yes. Even after the stomach curdling worry over bills. Even after the realization that we still don’t have a forever home after 10 years of marriage. Even after realizing my kids have never been on a dreamy vacation. Even after all the debt collectors calls. Even after endlessly putting $5 of gas in my tank at a time to make from day to day. Even after driving the junker for way too long. Even after the frustrating fights about what our life could have looked like financially if we just gave in and sent them all to public school.
Yes, because they will never ever know those small things. They will know they were chosen. They were prioritized. They were cherished in a way that is lost in the rush of this busy world.
And when I look back, there has NEVER EVER EVER been a time where God didn’t honor what we were doing. He provided. Always. He made a way for our desires always. His provision didn’t blot out the feeling of the hard sacrifice, but It did cradle us each day to keep on keeping on with what he asked us to do.
For every choice there is a sacrifice. No child is unloved because of the choice. They are raised differently, yes. Sometimes it seems there is no choice at all. Which is reality sometimes. And none of this was written to cause guilt or shame. If I answered honestly, we had all the qualifications to say we don’t have the choice for me to stay home either. That I would absolutely have to go back to work. But in my heart I knew I heard Jesus calling. Saying “DO IT! I’ll take care of what comes your way. Im your provider.”
That takes a whole heap of trust, I know. And we didn’t have that trust when we started. We had enough stupidity in the worlds eyes to say yes though. And just enough belief in the Lord that He could use to launch us into the biggest blessing we have ever cultivated. Oh, to walk slowly each day, hand in hand with your child. Putting aside the cares of this world to make sure their soul is well. That is the highest calling that comes with zero dollars an hour, but pays dividends in the spiritual.
So, what would you be willing to do to keep them close to you during the best days of their life? The days that you will crave to go back to in your core when they fly by.
See my next blog for ACTION STEPS TO SAY YES. If money is your worry. Let's chat! Seriously. Be open to what God can do through your giftings that would allow you to say yes.
As always, Make It Happen Mama!
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